Sunday, November 18, 2012

Reverse Miracle Incognito

...a backward look on trusting God among the choking uncertain...

We did have good news with the post Miracle Incognito.  We still have good news with this reverse version, although many in the world would say it's bad, terrible, no-good news.

We found out my risks for future pregnancy are not all gone.
Not getting the RH- shot means the risks can creep up at any point with any future pregnancy.

The doctor said that although my 'titan' levels are non-existent now (praise God!), they might not show up until we are pregnant again.  Note: we are NOT pregnant right now.  (If you are confused about what I'm talking about with the RH-  issue click on over to Miracle Incognito to explain a little).

In the pain of the unknown I must learn to trust.  Trust children-loving God.

I thought I would write a little during the hard...
and not just during the not-so-hard.

I still might not be able to carry another child to full term.
God whispers:  Trust daughter.
I might have a high risk pregnancy and end up losing our child during intro-uro blood transfusion.
My grace is sufficient.  
Lies rage in my brain about how God doesn't want us to have more children.
I love children, I will do what is best for you.
Average is 3 to 5 miscarriages...
Remember how I carried you through your last miscarriage?  
I am tired of disappointment.
I am ENOUGH for you.
I miss Zion (our first baby who died in October 2010).
Remember Isaiah 61.  I WILL turn your sorrow into joy.

"God sent me to announce the year of his grace—
    a celebration of God’s destruction of our enemies—
    and to comfort all who mourn,
To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,
    give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom,
    a praising heart instead of a languid spirit."

Lord you have given me many blessings.  One of them being our little man.  He has changed a lot in this last year.  Every day I am reminded how faithful you are through him.  His life is a miracle!  Thank you LORD!

Lord I desire comfort.  Thank you for giving it to me.  Lord you have lavished bouquets of roses instead of ashes, and I can now look back on my sorrow and see your redemptive story being written.  
My heart has been transformed with praise.  

My future is still unknown.  Yet I trust you.

Thank you, God, you alone are all-satisfying.

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