Run my hand over the white. Feel the cool. Touch the smooth. Touch again because it is just too soft.
Tonight I got to meet with my senior small group. (and I mean small- only 3 of them total. Trying to do the fewer deeper thing when my tendency has always been the more the merrier). Having a baby has forced me to struggle with having to say no and being ok with not being able to meet with everyone that I want to mentor.
We are going through the book of Galatians.
Tonight we went off on a tangent and I did a little activity I saw on Ann Voskamp's blog about forgiveness. Ann is the woman who wrote 1000 Gifts that has been on New York Times best seller list for over a month. If you haven't read it yet- make it one of your goals this year. My old roommates from college days and I are reading it together then once a month doing a group video chat.
I pour flour into the glass. Soundlessly it fills up the base. I set up a prayer bench that the ladies can kneel before. Simple coffee table in a private nook in our house.
How many times do we actually bend a knee in awe towards God? Unfortunately for me its usually not enough. I like to provide time and space for youth and myself to stop in their business and bend their knee.
I place a piece of paper about dealing with forgiveness beside the flour. One by one we spend 10 minutes before the thrown of God. We breath deep what it means to run our fingers through the cool and tangibly draw how we have been forgiven.
After spending some precious moments before a holy God our sin is completely wiped clean. We smooth out the picture... those sins forever gone never to be retrieved again.
We draw who we need to forgive. Wow- why is it so much easier receiving forgiveness than giving it? Maybe because we feel wronged? We still harbor anger, bitterness, and want to wait until fairness rules?
I gulp down the truth that God smashed fairness squarely in the face when he allowed us to share in his perfection. Share without deserving.
As our fingers get dusty and white clings our hearts become free with wrestling with choosing to forgive. Not harbor any hatred against that person who wronged us.
The pain is still deep yet the choice is not based on feelings. We forgive because
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
38 Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. 39 Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses.
My hand rests in the fine powder. It is finished. I have chosen to forever not hold that person's wrong against them any longer. The memory is still there, the pain even remains... but my choice is final and they are forever forgiven.
I am forever forgiven.
My hand swirls in play. I am free. I am filled with renewed joy and passion for those who have never experienced this joy.
Have you been forever forgiven by Christ's blood? Who do you need to forgive?